Stupid Christmas Gifts You Just Can’t Live Without

How many stupid Christmas gifts have you ever gotten that you just can’t live without?

If you’re like me, and have kids, probably quite a few, although I COULD definitely have lived without them. Let’s take a look at a few of some of the more idiotic items you can find for sale this Christmas season.

The Bacon Wallet

Bacon Wallet

The one I found online at Stupid.com claims to even smell like bacon though it has a disclaimer that it isn’t actually made out of bacon, but looks so real it could even fool bacon itself.  

Nose Shower Gel Dispenser

Nose Shower Gel Dispenser

Who doesn’t want to jump in the shower and find green shower gel dripping from a huge plastic nose when you honk it? You can find this stupid Christmas gift for your favorite friend at Amazon.

Wake & Bake The Dream Griddle Alarm Clock

wake and bake

Just what everybody needs! I know some of you out there might have a totally different idea of what “Wake and Bake” should be but this is the perfect stupid Christmas gift for someone you know whose hobbies are sleeping and eating.  Brought to you by “prank pack”.

The Pizza Scarf

the pizza scarf Stupid Christmas Gifts

Which of your lucky lady friends or anyone else you’d like to humiliate with this stupid Christmas gift they can’t live without would you give this beautiful pizza scarf to? It’s a hell of a bargain for only $17.99.  This too comes to you from those crazy guys at Stupid.com.

Tiny Hands

tiny hands stupid Christmas gift

EVERYBODY needs this stupid Christmas gift.  C’mon…WHO in the world do you know that doesn’t want to have a set of “Tiny Hands”?  You can pick these up for the low, low price of $9.95.

Big Momma Undies

big momma undies stupid christmas gift

Is there that special someone you have that you just really, really want to irritate this joyful giving season? Then this especially stupid Christmas gift of red polyester “Big Momma Undies” ought to do the trick. This is a gift that keeps giving and giving I’m sure. 

6 Pack Belt

stupid Christmas gift 6 pack belt

The only thing that I can see that makes this a stupid Christmas gift is the fact that there’s no way to keep these cans cold. If the pockets for the can were insulated in some sort of way this would actually be a good gift for a lot of people I know. This is available at GagGifts.

Make Your Own Ukulele Kit

stupid Christmas gift make your own ukulele kit

I happen to think that this is a really stupid Christmas gift because who in the hell plays the ukulele anymore? If you know someone that does though you can find this kit at UncommonGoods.

There you have just a few of the stupid Christmas gifts that are for sale this year and I would think for many years as I’d bet they have a lot of unsold product at the end of the season. What is the most stupid Christmas gift you’ve ever received that you could or couldn’t live without? We’d love to know- and I’m rethinking that whole ukulele comment after watching this-  it’s FANTASTIC.

 

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Italian Appetizer Bread aka Stromboli

This is absolutely yummy! Goes great with red wine too. ;)

Italian Appetizer Bread aka Stromboli

Italian appetizer bread stuffed with salami, cheese and olives makes a perfect warm appetizer for a crowd.
20 min. prep
16 servingsstromboli

Ingredients

  • 1 tablespoon Salted Butter, melted
  • 1 teaspoon finely chopped fresh garlic
  • (1-pound) loaf frozen bread dough, thawed
  • 1/4 pound thinly sliced Genoa salami
  • 6 (1-ounce) slices Provolone Cheese, cut into strips
  • 1/4 cup sliced stuffed green olives
  • 2 green onions, sliced
  • 1 egg, beaten
  • 1 teaspoon water
  • Poppy seed, If Desired

Directions

Stir together butter and garlic in bowl. Roll out dough on lightly floured bread surface to 12-inch square. Place on lightly greased baking sheet; brush with butter mixture.

Layer salami, cheese, olives and onions in 3-inch strip down center of dough to 1/2-inch of top within and bottom, leaving 4 1/2 inches of dough on each side of filling.

Cut twelve 3-inch long strips, 1-inch apart, along both sides of filling. Fold strips at an angle across filling, alternating sides to give a braided effect. Pinch dough at bottom and top to seal.

Cover; let rise in warm place 30-45 minutes or until almost double in size. Combine egg and water in bowl; brush over braid. Sprinkle with poppy seed, if desired.

Heat oven to 350 ° F.  Bake 25-35 minutes or until golden brown. Remove from baking sheet; cool 10 minutes. Cut into slices.

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A Few Of The Ways I’ve Managed To Stay Married For 32 Years

November 18th was my 32cd wedding anniversary and in this day and age, I consider that to be quite an achievement. Here are a few of the ways I’ve managed to stay married for 32 years.

  1. Tenacity:    Above all else you have to have staying power.  There are going to be a lot of things that come along in a marriage that might make you think giving up is easier, but you have to dig deep inside yourself and find your tenacity.tenacity
  2. Looks:   I’m not saying someone has to be the classic example of handsome, or good looking, I’m saying that their looks have to appeal to YOU.just married
  3. Common Interests:   Actually this is one of the things that almost drove us apart, but in the first ten years it served its purpose.punch bowl
  4. Common Interests Seriously:   You have to have a liking for the same interests or you’ll go your way and they’ll go theirs. We both liked movies, and the same type of music and books.  We may have listened to different songs at different times and read different titles but if we wanted to discuss any of them we both knew what the other was talking about.
    classic rock
  5. Communication:  Definitely key. However a lot of my communications were lies.  I know, I know, honesty is the best policy and you shouldn’t keep things from your partner. BULLSHIT.  Hiding little Johnnie’s D in math until he brings it up to a B- is no biggie. Choose your lies wisely though.  You know what happens to people who cry wolf too many times.pinnochio
  6. Good Sex:   This is essential in my book.  If you can’t get along in the bedroom and enjoy your partner they’ll find someone else that does.  It’s just the nature of the beast. Be inventive. Ask for suggestions.  Being shy is certainly not the way to go here.good sex
  7. Good Food:  I don’t care how sexist or old-fashioned this may seem but you KNOW the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach…  If you can’t cook, learn.  My husband has a few specialties of his own so this goes both ways.  good food

And there you have it. Just a very few ways I’ve managed to stay happily married for 32 years.  I’m not saying all of those years were joyful bliss but you have to take the good with the bad and it will all equal out.  The main thing I think is Item #1.  We’ve become a throw away world and people don’t try hard enough to overcome what sometimes seems easier to just overthrow.  Often people make the wrong choice of partners and nothing I’ve suggested here will make any difference but if you’re serious about your marriage and your mate isn’t a closet axe murderer or something near as bad, these suggestions may work for you like they have for me.  Good luck!

If you can add any of your own methods for a long marriage to this short list, we’d love to see what they are!

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