November 18th was my 32cd wedding anniversary and in this day and age, I consider that to be quite an achievement. Here are a few of the ways I’ve managed to stay married for 32 years.
- Tenacity: Above all else you have to have staying power. There are going to be a lot of things that come along in a marriage that might make you think giving up is easier, but you have to dig deep inside yourself and find your tenacity.
- Looks: I’m not saying someone has to be the classic example of handsome, or good looking, I’m saying that their looks have to appeal to YOU.
- Common Interests: Actually this is one of the things that almost drove us apart, but in the first ten years it served its purpose.
- Common Interests Seriously: You have to have a liking for the same interests or you’ll go your way and they’ll go theirs. We both liked movies, and the same type of music and books. We may have listened to different songs at different times and read different titles but if we wanted to discuss any of them we both knew what the other was talking about.
- Communication: Definitely key. However a lot of my communications were lies. I know, I know, honesty is the best policy and you shouldn’t keep things from your partner. BULLSHIT. Hiding little Johnnie’s D in math until he brings it up to a B- is no biggie. Choose your lies wisely though. You know what happens to people who cry wolf too many times.
- Good Sex: This is essential in my book. If you can’t get along in the bedroom and enjoy your partner they’ll find someone else that does. It’s just the nature of the beast. Be inventive. Ask for suggestions. Being shy is certainly not the way to go here.
- Good Food: I don’t care how sexist or old-fashioned this may seem but you KNOW the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach… If you can’t cook, learn. My husband has a few specialties of his own so this goes both ways.
And there you have it. Just a very few ways I’ve managed to stay happily married for 32 years. I’m not saying all of those years were joyful bliss but you have to take the good with the bad and it will all equal out. The main thing I think is Item #1. We’ve become a throw away world and people don’t try hard enough to overcome what sometimes seems easier to just overthrow. Often people make the wrong choice of partners and nothing I’ve suggested here will make any difference but if you’re serious about your marriage and your mate isn’t a closet axe murderer or something near as bad, these suggestions may work for you like they have for me. Good luck!
If you can add any of your own methods for a long marriage to this short list, we’d love to see what they are!