A Hickie From Kenickie Is Like A Hallmark Card

What is a hickey and how are they caused? (I know you all know the answer to this, but let me explain it anyway!)

A hickey, also known as a “love bite” or “kiss mark” is essentially a bruise caused by sucking or aggressively kissing another person’s flesh. It is initially red in color, due to broken blood vessels beneath the skin. It will later turn purple or dark brown as it heals….

So when is it appropriate to go out in public with a giant one planted on your neck? At what age is it acceptable to give or receive? When is the right time to whack on a scarf or use some spac filler and concealer and cover that MOFO up! … I will tell you when .. from the day you turn 39!!!

Why am I writing a post about hickeys I hear you ask? MY HUSBAND landed one on my neck last weekend. I was HORRORMORTIFIED! (yes, thats a new word). I had friends over and I could see them looking, laughing in their heads all the while I played it cool and pretended nothing was wrong, they all knew better than to ask me.

The WORST part about this was when myself and the husband went shopping and we were in a department store and two teenagers walked past. The young male species, approximately 17,  had multiple hickeys on display. He was wearing them with an immense amount of pride as he strutted hand in hand with his 16 year old looking skinny (I’m not bitter) girlfriend. He did not have a care in the world. He was delighted with his life. He caught my husbands eye and they gave each other the bro code nod, all women out there know just what that is.

I CRINGED, put my head down and ran for cover holding my neck as though I had been bitten by a vampire in the middle of the shopping centre and needed urgent medical assistance. I mean seriously, is it necessary?

I could NOT go to school for two days!! I made my husband do the drop off as there was just NO way to cover it up! What are you supposed to say when you are 39 with a giant hickey from kenickie on your neck.
There are many trusted methods to get rid of them, such as Aloe Vera and hemorrhoid cream but there is still no excuse for such behavior!! and if my daughters ever came home with them I would be horrified.
So in the wake of this event I am curious to know, when are you too old for a hickey?

One Comment:

  1. Never, that’s what I say, You are never too old!! It’s lovely that you still have an amazing loving realtionship, wear it like a badge of honour I say!!

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