How To Kill A Vampire


So you are planning for an Apocalypse? You already feel confident on how to kill a zombie, we all know that, thanks to The Walking Dead, but what happens if you come across a Vampire? Gone are the days of garlic and holy water, they are just not going to cut it. I don’t think any of us will stand much of a chance but here is some helpful information that might just save your life!

Direct Sunlight.

We all know the best and easiest way to kill a vampire is by direct sunlight.  The curse of the Vampire was to be forever roaming the Earth at niCurseSunlight will burn the shite out of them so where possible, lead them INTO THE LIGHT!

The Wooden Stake.

It’s an apocalypse people, who needs furniture anyway!

Still a classic, the wooden stake remains one of the best tools to use for vampire killing. It was a favorite of Buffy The Vampire Slayer (one of my heroes, don’t judge). All you need is a piece of 4×4, cut it down and sharpen one edge. One piece should be enough for the whole family. There is nothing like a joint family effort when taking on creatures of the night.



Silver.

Chains more fun than bullets any day.

The curse of silver began before the first vampire became a vampire, when the goddess Artemis (Greek mythology) cursed the first vampire so that his skin burned when it touched silver. I think this is just another way for the rich to think they are better than everyone else. I mean who has that much silver just lying around. If you are like me, refer to options one and two.

Fire.

Always keep a safe distance and a fire extinguisher nearby.

At first fire seems like an easy fix to your vampire problems. The problem is Vampires have uber healing properties. If you try to set a Vampire on fire you may just end up setting yourself on fire, it will not end well. Stick to the direct sunlight theory with this one.

Tearing Its Head Off.

This may take multiple attempts, perseverance will pay off!

I don’t know about you, but I have never tried to literally rip anyone’s head off, I can imagine it would be very difficult. You could try using the spare silver sword you have in your basement or you could use an Autine Axe, they are brilliant!

 I hope you feel confident enough by now that you would be successful in killing a vampire if need be. When considering how to kill a vampire, feel free to blend any of the above suggestions together. They all work if done right. And if done wrong, well, chances are you’ll be dead. Good luck!

How to kill a Vampire [via]


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